Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Catalyst:

I’ve been away -- sometimes busy, sometimes just avoiding.

Lately I have been struggling with my individuality. As a kid, I wanted nothing more than to fit in (as most kids do). I went with the flow; complete herd mentality. And the older that I get, the more I find myself at the other end of the spectrum. Fitting in is the worst thing imaginable. I have the irrepressible urge to run away from everything that becomes too popular. iPhone? Getting rid of it this month (more on that later). Facebook? Hardly ever use it. Twitter? No thank you. I don’t want to be one of those people. 

In a time when technology is on the rise, I find myself being pulled in the other direction; reverting to a time when my phone just placed calls and my computer was a tool I used for writing. For me, this blog has been a space for collecting: ideas, pictures, music, funny stories. At times it has been a way for me to reach out to other people and communicate while maintaining my private, very hermit-like tendencies. But always, it has been somewhere I have felt safe expressing myself. I never cared if anyone read it. It made me happy. It was a creative outlet. And it was enough. I guess it still is, however, like, me it’s going through a phase. A phase of growing, changing, and figuring out what it wants to be.

Maybe all this rebellion is about 10 years late. Or maybe it means something else. I’m still trying to figure that out.

All this is to say that my presence here may be lacking for a while. The whole look of this blog may change. The content may change. Nothing may change. I feel very up in the air right now. And I have no idea of how things will end up once everything’s settled.

For now, I feel like the easiest thing is lay low for a while and keep things going on my tumblr site. But keep checking back here too. I'll be around. Don’t give up on me.  

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